


That Shampoo from France

by yesterdaysluminary



Category: D.Gray-man
Genre: M/M, ok i didn't want this to be my first fanfic on ao3 but here we are, wtf theres only one other fanfic for this ship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-03
Updated: 2016-04-03
Packaged: 2018-05-30 22:38:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,029
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6445084
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yesterdaysluminary/pseuds/yesterdaysluminary
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kanda really needs to know about hair care.</p>
            </blockquote>





	That Shampoo from France

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this at 3am on my phone. I haven't written fanfiction since I was 13. But this crackship just snowballed didn't it? An actual story of a headcanon badlydrawnlink and I thought up of on Skype.

It was during a mission when Link asks Kanda what was the secret behind his hair. Allen and Kanda had been assigned to track down some Innocence allegedly sighted in some sleepy Italian city, and Howard Link, the ever-watchful guard dog, tagged along to keep an eye on Allen Walker.

“Excuse me CROW?” Kanda asks, almost defensively. Link didn’t think he acted particularly offensively in anyway, but then again Kanda was always ready to fight everything and everyone, just like Walker was always ready to destroy Link’s wallet from his eating.

Walker was, unfortunately, not here to divert Kanda’s perpetual irritation to himself with their usual spiel of spats. As soon as they arrived at the small room that the inn had assigned the trio, Walker had booked it to the bathroom and declared that he was taking a bath before 'you long haired pricks spend a million years attempting to clean your hair'. Kanda had bristled at that comment and had retorted that he only used soap.

Which had led to this subsequent conversation.

“What I mean, Mr. Exorcist, is how have you kept your hair so,  _so immaculate_  when all you appear to use is  _a bar of soap?”_ at this point Link is getting a little indignant, and gestures at Kanda’s pile of supplies, of which consisted of a change of clothes, a brush, and said aforementioned bar of soap. The absolute minimum for survival, but  _entirely inappropriate_  for a representative of The Order.

“Well, what else would you use to wash yourself?” Kanda paused indignantly. Link could feel himself die a little. This exorcist had what Link could unfortunately say was the most well behaved hair he had ever seen in his entire life - Link himself had to wrestle with his tragic fringe which he was attempting to grow out - and he  _didn’t know the existence of shampoo? What was he? Like, nine years old?_

That was it. Obviously someone had to teach this manchild about proper hygiene.

Link grabbed his own bag and upended it on his bed. Kanda could only gaze in befuddlement as what appeared to be an infinite number of bottles cascaded after the expected daily necessities, creating a pile of plastic consisting of a variety of colours and shapes. _What on earth would Lvellie’s watch dog ever do with these?_

Out of the pile, Link triumphantly extracted two cylindrical black bottles. “This, Mr. Exorcist, is what  _civilised men_  call _shampoo_ , and this is what we'd call  _conditioner_.”

And so began the wonderful friendship of Howard Link and Kanda Yuu, bound by hair care.

* * *

 

It was after another two Akuma-infested missions together before Link had to put an end to Kanda’s ‘borrowing’ of his hair products. He never got his own supply, and the idiot exorcist used ridiculous amounts! Link was not going to let this Exorcist try to clean out Akuma gunk from his strange with such a precious resource!

Alright, so what if Kanda had long hair and Asian hair was notoriously thick (which was why they looked so perfect, Link concluded)? It was like he used half an entire bottle in one go! _Absolutely atrocious!_  He, Howard Link, did not need  _two_  money vacuums sucking his funds dry! At least with Walker it was to fuel his Parasitic Innocence, with Kanda Yuu it was a waste!

“Exorcist Kanda Yuu,” Link began, as Kanda froze in his oh-so-sneaky attempt at  _stealing his fucking shampoo_ , _yet again._  “You, need to get your own. I’ve been perfectly considerate before, but this has become an...inconvenience to the both of us.” Disgruntled, Kanda withdrew his grubby blood-stained hands and Link internally fist pumped (because Crows don’t fist pump externally. What the hell are you going on about?)

“Che. So wheredidyougetit?” Kanda spat out, and Link blinked, surprised that the stoic samurai was so quick to ask.

_Guess he really likes it_ , Link thought.

“It’s a boutique brand from Paris, actually. Terribly exclusive, which was why I asked you to possibly stop using mine. My supply’s been running low and will run out in the next week, at the rate we’re going through them, and because I’m assigned to Walker, my chances of visiting France would be once in a blue moon.” Link answered, with a hint of longing. France really had the best hair products, and Walker would love the food but Director Lee never seemed to send them to the City of Romance. Quite upsetting.

Lamenting Komui Lee’s poor choices of locations, Link waved Kanda off, as Walker re-emerged from the bathroom. “This is the last time Mr. Exorcist. Next time, you get your own.” Kanda nodded, took the bottle gingerly, and strode past a confused Allen, who glanced between his two companions with faintly narrowed eyes.

“Something I missed?”

“Nothing for you to be concerned about Walker.” Link replied curtly, and rolled over and started to write up his report to Lvellie.

A few weeks later, Link opened his and Walker’s door in the Order to the sight of an entire box of his favourite shampoo and conditioner combo. “A repayment.” Kanda mumbles. “I was in the area. Don’t worry, I got a box for myself too.” Link wasn’t quite sure what sort of expression was exactly on his face - _incredulity, shock, joy?_  - but whatever it was made Kanda’s mouth tilt up ever so slightly into a smirk. Link decided Kanda was a terribly smug asshole, if one who repays his debts quickly.

Link numbly took the box and closed the door.

Allen looked at Link, brows knit together. “Okay _really, what did I miss?”_

“...You really don’t need to concerned about it.”

 

* * *

 

“--So Panda-jiji and I were thinking, yeah? And we think the reason our dear Yuu-chan here has such a fabulous mane, is because of his special healing ability!! It must also heal all the damage Yuu-chan’s hair suffers in battle, and that’s why it’s always so clean even when the rest of ya is always a hot mess.” Lavi concluded triumphantly.

Kanda turned pale and shot a quick glance at Link.  _He had been using his lifespan to keep his hair nice?_

Thank god for Link’s intervention.

 


End file.
